I know that it is important for HSI to reach out to schools.  And I also believe that good communication skills are always worth honing.  Still, when it became my job to introduce HSI to nearly half of California's high schools, I was not stoked. Overwhelmed by the list of over 600 conversations I needed to have, I couldn't picture my job as anything but cold-calling a bunch of strangers.  The first few calls I made were embarrassing. In spite of my performing experience (i.e. making out with puppets on camera and playing music), I was shy, stuttering, and befuddled.  It was frustrating to fail at something I needed to accomplish and my lack of instant skill soured my motivation.  I wanted to quit and let someone else make all of those damn calls.

I had forgotten that practice is a precursor to progression.  Like a freight train, motivation requires a degree of force to get started.  I needed to provide that first push myself before I could expect any improvement.  Once I sacked up and sparked that force, practice gave me the momentum to improve my skills.

The frustration of starting awkwardly soon gave way to the confidence developed through real-life experience.  Instead of lingering on the cusp of action with anxious dread, I stopped hesitating and just...started. With each bumbling call, the conversations get easier and I feel more relaxed. I now see each interaction as a chance to improve, as opposed to an endless and excruciating burden. This change in how I perceive my work has made a world of a difference: my positive perception now generates a productive attitude.  My new attitude is productive because it focuses my attention on what I need to do in order to improve.  I've finally hit a rhythm. 

To all of the teachers, assistant principals, counselors, and office personnel in the California school system who've suffered through my awkardness--You've all allowed me to learn by doing.  Thank you for staying on the line.

- allen